In love with Ideas

***NEWS FLASH*** I humbly accept the “Perfect Poet” Award for Thursday Poetry Rally Week 57. It’s been so long since I’ve participated and won this award that I am really excited. Further my nomination for Week 58 goes to… Cherlyn for “You’ve Taken My Voice”
( http://cursemymetalbody.wordpress.com/2011/11/24/poetry-thursday-72/#comments )

I’m in love with the idea of being in love.
Did you hear what I said? I’m in love.
With the idea. Of being in love. Yes, that
Is correct. The idea suits me just fine.
I might even be inclined to say I love
Things just the way they are—cuz why not?
Everything seems just fine. I’m in love with
the idea of being in love. Shooting stars
from the greatest clouds up above. Shinning
bright moons and sparkling skies. The
Heavens opened up and here is
Where I welcomed you. I’m in love
With the idea of being in love. Yes, that’s
Correct. I’m in love with the idea of being in love.

I laugh at the thought of how absurd
It may sound but it’s true, indeed for I would
Never make an attempt to deceive. So just
believe to see the truth in me when I say
These words, out loud they sound,
triumphantly I called out in a subtle shout
grasping your attention, as the wind carries
soft whispers of sweet I love you’s…again
I laugh at the thought of how absurd
It may sound but I only speak truth.

Ideas, just words, emotion shown
Through love, love of ideas, love
Falling from the heavens up above.
Love from the father, son and holy
Ghost. Love just emotion turned up
Extra high, balanced by love matched
Also heaven sent…just right
Specially picked. I’m in love with the
Idea, of being in love. I’m in love with
Love and differing ideas on exactly
What love should be. Again, I say
I’m in love…with love.

Now I see.

I have truly let you go
I see the light, for the
Tunnel is bright, not
Dimly lit, it shines
Smiling on all of the
Great time we spent
The good times we
Shared…the love we
Dared.

I close my eyes and
See your image, my
Minds eye, vivid—all
That is you and I…I mean
All that was you and I
See it flash within my
Eyes—deeply I smile

I let go of the hope
To one day be your
Wife, it does not seem
That would be our
Destiny—in love I let
Go but I’ll always
Love you so—I once
Upon a time wished
You to be the one.

I once upon a time
Wished that I would
Be for you, as you to me,
I held long onto
That dream, I held
Tight for all hopes
That one day it might
Actually be.

Then reality you see
Knocked me down,
Down right to my
Knees, yelling at me
To see, with tears
In my eyes I finally
Understood why.

I need love you see.
To hear it, to feel it
To see it, to touch it
I need assurance
That our love is
True between you
And me…I needed
To hear that you loved
Me…I needed consistency
I needed you to love me.
NO. I needed you to be open
To showing me, and yes! Telling
Me, unconditionally how
Much you loved me.

Patient I was, patient I
Tried, tears weld up,
Falling from my eyes
I held on, I held on, I let go
But still I held on…hoping
Too hard, that this wasn’t our
Reality, hoping too hard
There would still be a
You and me…now knowing,
I let go…now opening my
Eyes to see…I understand.

Before reluctantly, even
Hesitantly, now with
Confidence and peace
Now with love and peace
Now understanding it
Was the past that shared
Me and you. Now I see.

 

**Thursday Poetry Rally: Week 57**

Distinctly Distinctable

By distinction I’m weak for
The softness the fullness
How sweetly kissable
Those lips are…

By Distinction electricity
Shocks me when magically
You kiss me

By distinction blindly
I’ll tell you just whose
Distinctly recognizable
Lips just kissed me

By Distinction your kisses
Magically arouse me
Making me feel distinctly
Things no other mans kisses
Have ever made me feel

Impartial

Impartially I see you to be
all that is partial to me
I can’t believe your blind
to see all that’s wonderful
within me

Figuratively you abandon
me for what you think to
be something more than
what your eyes do really see

I impose on thee a true
chance to see more than
what I propose there to be

Consequently I surrendered
my wall, simply because your
masculinity captivated energies
that live deep within me,
uncontrollably I allowed you
to see more of me than what
you may have deserved there
to be

The ART Show

I walked into this show
it was an art show, indeed,
there was a painter starting
to paint, and his strokes
brought him to me…

as the show nears its finale
each stroke from once before
whispered, gently my name
twice more, saying take me
in, witness all that is me

This here I paint is my only
masterpiece…my art show is
just a display of what’s inside
that I’m too scared to show case

my heart is only one, can’t be
refinished or retouched once
it’s broke I can’t just simply
stand there and recreate each
stroke that makes each beat
the vibrations that live in me

NOTE: this piece was started July 25, 2008 – I was just able to finish it today

Souls’ Song

I wanna sing, but my song
is without words, I wanna sing
but the melody is no more,
I wanna sing but maybe someone
ran off with my words,

I wanna breeze through a
melody that sings a song
of you in me, sharing affections
not subjection to rejection because
your emotional constipation, got you
lacking the sincere anticipation from
the sensations that I feel…

when I allow the feelings that I feel
for your soul to sing its song
all through out my soul…
but you, do not hear! you do
not fear, you do not see
the real beauty that lives within me

open your eyes and see, the song
that lacks in you, truly does live in
me and I’ll sing it aloud, I won’t shout
it but singing it proud, I’ll allow my
soul to sing that song, I’ll allow my soul
to sing that song, all night long…I’ll sing
that song, I’ll sing that song, ’til my
souls at peace and my hearts content…

I’ll sing my soul til that songs’ no more…


CoOl Wit Me

Betrayed again, but what was my sin?
Cast aside without that grin wide
turned upside down my face you
see not just my frown, silly you be
more than a big red nosed clown

But fight I might, not do this time
for why even waste what’s more
precious than a worthless dime

Shinny at first, tarnished it didn’t
last, to think I didn’t even make
note to take out the trash

So stank is now, as everyone
who sees is clear, still ask how
did this happen my dear?
Answers unknown, questions
sewn wrong but now I see
clearly, how vividly, your words
with lax of acts have screamed
to me, I just couldn’t see
you no longer wanted to be

and…That’s COOL wit me!

I Think

I think of you as the sun

Rises and I inhale my first

Breath, thankful to God

That we really met

 

I think of you when the

Evening comes, causing the

Sun to set, thankful for

Memories that I will never forget

 

I think of you when

I close my eyes, able to see

Reflections from gazes

We shared, thankful

For all of the things we’ll

One day dare

 

I think of you, with a

Smile upon my face,

Simply thankful for

God’s good grace

 

I think of you, even

When we’re side by side

Thankful for hope

Of this lasting forever

Lasting always…forever

Life long…more easily

Put…I think of you

 

I think of you.

With…

With just a touch, fluttering feelings

Of glee entirely capture me

With just the slightest feel

My mind reels in wheels of a reality

That’s destined in totality to be real

 

With sentiments of like, I look into

Your eyes, to determine, where our

Truth lies and my insides simply smile

With your sensual kisses, I am

Solely drawn near, nearer to all that’s

Clear, because this is not a fantasy

This is not, could not be surreal

 

With you near, my touches, you’ll

Never be able to shield,

For when close, touching you is

Never enough, inhaling you

Is an intoxication that cannot

Be subdued, because baby

I am so addicted to you

 

My gateway drug, like a feign

Whose hit can’t be quit

With you’d I’d never get sick

Sensations of warmth, glowing

Inwardly out, I have not one doubt

When I submit to words

That SCREAM I want you…simply

Put…please don’t be shook

With you…right here…right now…

With you…is where I want to be

Floating like a Feather

Floating on a cloud this morning,
Light as a feather, bright as the days new sun…
Drifting away in self ecstasy-the pleasure is all me
 
Maybe like an after-shock the gentle kiss
On the cheek is just now affecting me
Maybe his soft caresses on my arm
Or him holding me just right – not too tight
Making me feel warm
 
Floating on a cloud this morning
Light as a feather, bright as the days new sun…
Crazy how this energy connection just begun
Still drifting away in self ecstasy as the pleasure
Is definitely all me
 
Maybe my smiles are letting go
Feeling loose able to be free from
All the others that tried to make a captive of me
Maybe it’s due to his words being so sweet
Or how open he is with me
Maybe it’s just because he is…he
 
Floating on a cloud this morning, light as a feather
Bright as the days new sun
This afternoon brings hours closer to closure
Where drifting away in self ecstasy
Will no longer just be a pleasure all for me

Chocolate Quarter

Just yesterday, she glanced another way

to her surprise, she kneeled to find

a chocolate quarter, looking her way

thinking, she smiled a chocolate quarter

so much better, than a silly little dime

 

This quarter seemed special, so chocolaty – and all

not even the regular kind

  from milk and un-refined

 …it is the kind that she knows is fine,

made SPECIAL -even dark as red wine…

 

Not by Hershey – that brand… so bland

not of her liking –  way too sweet yet still incomplete

 

a Chocolate quarter, she deemed

a  new friend, intelligent & masculine –

smooth with rough edges…seems that’s how

energies connected, her stare

she dared, for really to hide

she couldn’t let it subside

 

Away with her thoughts

she simply smiled, a chocolate quarter

 she stashed away

maybe her new pleasure, simply she smiled

just put it away knowing

she’d smile another day

Damn

damn if only u could be…
even would be…my man
I’d take u to levels, even heights unseen
might even, seem, like it’s
somethig of a terrestrial being
but, me, being all that i be…
would be exactly – what u need 2
take u to ecstasy…oh, i say me…
oh, me…oh… me. Oh, me!
damn, if only u could see it
u, not just me – that holds to heart – all –
that makes this fantasy, be, what it be
open ur mind, but…close ur eyes
and let me bring to u ur fantasy that lives
deep within me
damn can u hear my call
damn can u feel my cry
damn can u share all the passions
that drive me wild
man oh man damn if only it could be
damn, i mean damn
more than just a mental unlived
joyus hmph mental fantasy
damn damn damn
no words left to express…just simply put
all i can say is damn…man…damn!

Soft Sadness

As soft tears fall from my eyes
I realize that it comes as no surpise
it’s never been a reality, just a dream
serene it streams from one scene
to the next, I don’t understand why
things end up so perplexed, but an
ending from a beginning is always
what flashes next, like a fantasy
that never makes realality…I’ll always
remember the sweet thoughts you had
of me…
As a door closes another window opens
the sadness that exist, I’ll blow away with
a prayerful wish, that next time, there will
actually be time…spent not just on what could
be but what will become actuality…
Desires to be courted the old fashioned way
by a man who knows there’s time and
can see what he’s in store for…genuine
and pure, who wants love that’s secure
I hold on to not just a fantasy, but my
one day, future, reality

Like, INTEREST — Anticipating INTELLECT

Like a simile, I’ll reference thee

in a form that’s not like to shatter

but to be more, similar to…

the pleasure, congenial, agreeable

regard of favor, that makes both

you and I, inclined to feel

the power of such exciting concern,

the involvement in a matter of

primary interest, as you tell me

that you like my intellect

 

possessing with capacity, you-

profoundly found with pure ability

to think so abstractly, creating

an expectation of hop, like in music

when a tone, introduced before hand

lets just call it in advance

of its harmony, so that it sounds

against its proceeding chord–maybe just note

 

a person who uses

the mind to think so creatively

continually the stimuli between

our minds leaves, slight impressions,

foretaste, realization that there is

definitely some anticipation

 

the previous notion would suggest

simply that you like my intellect

as you anticipate — await with intuition

of what may possibly come to fruition

after only our second — surprise date

forgiving and letting go

It is said to truly forgive someone you must let go of the anger and the hurt and not dwell on the past. I believe that there are stages one goes through when ending a relationship, whether it’s with a friend or a lover. Those stages, in my opinion, are denial, followed by grief, anger, then a no mans land between anger and forgiveness, and then finally forgiveness. I am in the no mans land stage and am slowly but surely working my way towards total forgiveness. After I wrote this poem, I tried to read it aloud but I couldn’t, everytime I tried I ended up singing it (and I can’t sing, but ask me if that stops me LOL!) that has never happened to me before, which is how I know this one touched me very deeply. This is part of my healing process

I DON’T BLAME YOU

I don’t blame you for walking away
I don’t blame you for not wanting to stay
I am actually glad for both you and me
for us to be together it was not meant to be
at times I still miss our family
But I don’t miss the pain that you caused me
I know you suffered because of me
But I loved you true and through very deeply

I don’t blame you ‘cause I understand
You never really learned how to be a man
I don’t blame you ‘cause it was justified
I forgave you each and everytime you made me cry
I don’t blame you for pushing me away
I know you’ve never been loved this way
I don’t blame you
I don’t blame you
I don’t blame you

I don’t blame you for going astray
I don’t blame you for all the bad days
I know at times I made you cry
But it was because you hurt me so deep inside
I only wanted the best for me and you
But the harder I tried you gave me less of you
I did the best that I could do
But we weren’t strong enough to pull through
and I don’t blame you

I don’t blame you ‘cause I understand
You never really learned how to be a man
I don’t blame you ‘cause it was justified
I forgave you each and everytime you made me cry
I don’t blame you for pushing me away
I know you’ve never been loved this way
I don’t blame you
I don’t blame you
I don’t blame you

I don’t blame you because I let you do it
I don’t blame you ‘cause I pushed you to it
Everytime that you took me through it
I forgave you even though it hurt to do it
I compromised myself and my beliefs
Too many nights where I couldn’t sleep
I gave you the best of me
But what’s done is done I have nothing left in me

I don’t blame you ‘cause I understand
You never really learned how to be a man
I don’t blame you ‘cause it was justified
I forgave you each and everytime you made me cry
I don’t blame you for pushing me away
I know you’ve never been loved this way
I don’t blame you
I don’t blame you
I don’t blame you

 

Dr. Dash