I look at us
What we’ve been through
And all this time
I’ve been blaming you

I’ve blamed you
For destroying our family
For breaking my heart
For ruining my destiny

I now realize it wasn’t you
You did not bring this trauma
I am the one to blame for this
My downfall is my karma

So many times I have been
The one to ruin relationships
Somehow I thought I was safe
I thought what we had was sacred

Now I know the truth
We were doomed from the start
Now I feel what they felt
Now I have the broken heart

It took awhile to realize the truth
I blamed you for bringing the drama
But the fault is all my own
and you’re just a victim of my karma

Getting acclamated…

So now that I am on my new coast…I am venturing out into the world of public transportation. It’s ironic because in Cali you pretty much use public transportation as a last resort…but here it’s more of a first resort…driving is apparently out and taking the subway is in.

So today I venture out for the first time solo…it wasn’t too bad. I didn’t get lost…prehaps a little confused when I first got in there trying to work the fare card machine…but the nice man with the yellow vest on, creeped up on me and said…”do you know what you’re doing?” I’m clearly no dummy so I with a smirk said I sure don’t…I knew where I was going I knew I needed a round trip ticket and I knew how much it cost…so after the man creeped up off me I made my way down the escalator…Guess what? It was the wrong side and there was my line pushing along without me. Luckily these things run pretty regularily I only had to wait 8 minutes or maybe 11 minutes for the next line to come that I  needed.

So I found my way to the surface street I  needed and didn’t feel overwhelmed…hmmm I guess you need a little more background to even understand why any of this even matters. I have serious issues with getting lost. I  mean I literally freak out. Not because I am uncapable of getting unlost but because I was stigmatized by a childhood incident that has apparently scared me for life I am SOOOOOO not okay with even the slightest possibility of being lost…I digress…so on the way  home I got off a stop too early but was able to hop right back on and get off on the correct stop so all in all it was a successful trip on the subway and bus routes for my first time.