Now I see.

I have truly let you go
I see the light, for the
Tunnel is bright, not
Dimly lit, it shines
Smiling on all of the
Great time we spent
The good times we
Shared…the love we
Dared.

I close my eyes and
See your image, my
Minds eye, vivid—all
That is you and I…I mean
All that was you and I
See it flash within my
Eyes—deeply I smile

I let go of the hope
To one day be your
Wife, it does not seem
That would be our
Destiny—in love I let
Go but I’ll always
Love you so—I once
Upon a time wished
You to be the one.

I once upon a time
Wished that I would
Be for you, as you to me,
I held long onto
That dream, I held
Tight for all hopes
That one day it might
Actually be.

Then reality you see
Knocked me down,
Down right to my
Knees, yelling at me
To see, with tears
In my eyes I finally
Understood why.

I need love you see.
To hear it, to feel it
To see it, to touch it
I need assurance
That our love is
True between you
And me…I needed
To hear that you loved
Me…I needed consistency
I needed you to love me.
NO. I needed you to be open
To showing me, and yes! Telling
Me, unconditionally how
Much you loved me.

Patient I was, patient I
Tried, tears weld up,
Falling from my eyes
I held on, I held on, I let go
But still I held on…hoping
Too hard, that this wasn’t our
Reality, hoping too hard
There would still be a
You and me…now knowing,
I let go…now opening my
Eyes to see…I understand.

Before reluctantly, even
Hesitantly, now with
Confidence and peace
Now with love and peace
Now understanding it
Was the past that shared
Me and you. Now I see.

 

**Thursday Poetry Rally: Week 57**

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Sing

I want to sing
louder than the roaring
blue skies
I want to sound
clearer than a
clinging gong
I want to be heard
like the rumbling
ocean
I want my sound
louder than blue skies
clearer than clinging gongs
heard like the rumbling ocean
I want to sing
I want to sing
I want to sing
my deepest joys
I want to sing
my spirits fears free
I want to sing
I want to sing
until the heavens hear my song
I want to sing
until your desire’s spent –so gone…
I want to sing
my heart and soul you see
until no more can you ignore
that I want to sing
Yes! I want to Sing!

pWrite…Intro

I’ve decided to start a daily writing section called “pwrite” (like iWrite but “p” for Peaches, Peach, Pit, Propaganda)- it is my intention to try to keep each post uniform so you can easily tell it from my poetry post. Peach Pit Propaganda is forever changing and evolving [i hope].

This segment of my blog will likely not include poetry but I can’t say not at all because poetry is me…they will be more like journal entries as I begin this a new chapter in this journey we call life.

This journey is one of CHANGE [i know we all just love that word] and I plan to share the goods the bads the up and downs even turn arounds of this journey I am about to begin.

Every year since undergrad [which seems to be getting further and further in the past] I started participating in the Lenten season with my BFF (if you’re wondering I am not Catholic but I love God the father and Jesus the son) and this year it seems to not be starting until March – I feel like I need a spiritual cleanse sooner than that so I am starting this journey in preparation of Lent in hopes that my spiritual growth is higher at the start enabling me to take it even higher.

Change is never easy and while I have not completely defined what this part of the journey will consist of I hope you can appreciate it and even possible be inspired to do some positive change in your own life…

 

God Bless!

Ms. Peaches…

Like Wind

With caution I hesitate
To instruct caution to you
As moving forward seems
To be an illusion, yea I think
That’s my conclusion

Grasping for emotional
Comfort, emotional release
And relief, wanting to share
My abundance while
Being cautioned to move
Slowly when emotionally
I’m not sure that’s really me

Cautioned to not feel dejected
Or rejected even emotionally
Objec-ti-fied so supplied
With caution I hesitate
To emotionally consummate
The feelings I could be
Feeling cause my caution
Cannot be gone like the wind

Souls’ Song

I wanna sing, but my song
is without words, I wanna sing
but the melody is no more,
I wanna sing but maybe someone
ran off with my words,

I wanna breeze through a
melody that sings a song
of you in me, sharing affections
not subjection to rejection because
your emotional constipation, got you
lacking the sincere anticipation from
the sensations that I feel…

when I allow the feelings that I feel
for your soul to sing its song
all through out my soul…
but you, do not hear! you do
not fear, you do not see
the real beauty that lives within me

open your eyes and see, the song
that lacks in you, truly does live in
me and I’ll sing it aloud, I won’t shout
it but singing it proud, I’ll allow my
soul to sing that song, I’ll allow my soul
to sing that song, all night long…I’ll sing
that song, I’ll sing that song, ’til my
souls at peace and my hearts content…

I’ll sing my soul til that songs’ no more…


Lost we die…

Conclusions of disillusions painting
Pictures of confusion of you ever
Wanting me…but decisions show
Precision in precisely how wisely
I should be dealing with the cards
Dealt directly to me…

Detachment from attachment
Strong ties I thought once bound
Would never unbind, but deceivingly
I now see from where before I blindly
Had no one there holding my
Hand or guiding me…

Towards the light that inevitably
Was there to shine upon me a victory
That was unforeseen as your love
Has fallen short in never capturing me
Though time we cannot rewind
My wonders of what could have
Been have seemingly dissipated
Into what is wasted and left for
Dead…but inside I don’t cry or hide

Behind what’s unreal…secure in
My emotions I move forward stepping
Ahead not following behind where
Lessons unlearned in our lives simply
Are left to die…

Not Returned…

With my heart I am too generous
Too open, too honest, too loving
While loving too hard makes it
Obsolete, the love returned is less
than soft and incomplete

Seems so surreal that I am able to
Feel the way I feel, when in return
Slighted I am with nothingness
Nothingness leads to nothingness
Useless these feelings become
When they forever go unreturned

Ironically, symbolically you seem to
Still mean so much to me
Like I faucet I choose to turn you off
Shut you down from your main source
Of water flow because to have is to feel
And feel is to love and to love u do not

So, slighted we move forward, with
More caution than before…as being
Unable to turn off my heart for u
These feelings I will try harder to ignore
Cause in loving you no feelings of love
Are returned…

Captured

your touch, your kiss
your words saying to
me that I am sweet
mean the absolute
most to me, your
kindness, your warm
welcoming arms when
you hold me, baby
are you aware of
all that you do to me?
my words, turned poetic
creating a symphony of all
the feelings you create
inside of me, even when
you’re not  right next to me
I hold tight to your energy
Loving the electricity
It creates within me
I’ll sing you my song if
you give me your listening
ear, I’ll caress your mind,
while making love to you
intellectually, cuz it’s not
just  you physically that
does all the things that you
do to me, but your inner
being that makes me
so weak – you’ve really
captured me…

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I Think

I think of you as the sun

Rises and I inhale my first

Breath, thankful to God

That we really met

 

I think of you when the

Evening comes, causing the

Sun to set, thankful for

Memories that I will never forget

 

I think of you when

I close my eyes, able to see

Reflections from gazes

We shared, thankful

For all of the things we’ll

One day dare

 

I think of you, with a

Smile upon my face,

Simply thankful for

God’s good grace

 

I think of you, even

When we’re side by side

Thankful for hope

Of this lasting forever

Lasting always…forever

Life long…more easily

Put…I think of you

 

I think of you.

With…

With just a touch, fluttering feelings

Of glee entirely capture me

With just the slightest feel

My mind reels in wheels of a reality

That’s destined in totality to be real

 

With sentiments of like, I look into

Your eyes, to determine, where our

Truth lies and my insides simply smile

With your sensual kisses, I am

Solely drawn near, nearer to all that’s

Clear, because this is not a fantasy

This is not, could not be surreal

 

With you near, my touches, you’ll

Never be able to shield,

For when close, touching you is

Never enough, inhaling you

Is an intoxication that cannot

Be subdued, because baby

I am so addicted to you

 

My gateway drug, like a feign

Whose hit can’t be quit

With you’d I’d never get sick

Sensations of warmth, glowing

Inwardly out, I have not one doubt

When I submit to words

That SCREAM I want you…simply

Put…please don’t be shook

With you…right here…right now…

With you…is where I want to be

Simply Solidify to Amplify

Solidify, amplify – lose control
and showme your soul
not face value, but whole
pure, 100% true, show me
all that equals you
Solidify, petrify – maybe, create a mix
amalgamate, blend, mix and merge
like alloy – metals combined to incorporate
only, when we mingle and mix it will be
like a dulce de leche hershey’s
dark chocolate covered kiss
Solidify, don’t hit and miss
consolidate, unite, make a combination
that drives you crazy, not mentally deranged
or strange, but crazy, silly, a little unglued
maybe even unhinged and senseless
for too many useful senses that blend
are simply and solidly making you crazy
Just solidify – tha tplace with in
and maybe our hearts will combine
to join in…strong, together, integrated
by energy that no one
can keep from the win
simply solidify to amplify
whats happening within

E.X.H.A.L.E

as i think i remember to – E,
i mean how do u forget – X,
am i biting my lip? hmm – H,
wow, was that really it?? – A,
yes, i must say, real soft – L,
i am sure it was just rite – E,
oh, pleeeaaasse, remember to breathe!
after, u inhale, and realize
its ur breath thats held
please, remember that u…must!
E-X- H-A-L-E – yes, exhale!
not to impose that u dont feel ill-composed
by that moment that just transposed
maybe a lil juxtaposed, even bare and exposed
just after u inhale and remember
its your breath thats held,
simply dont forget to later
realize with regret that u forgot,
in that moment to E-X-H-A-L-E-
YES, EXHALE
oh, yes i do, dare to continue to share
as a memory traces back, surely with out fright
as she enjoyed that moment,
oh so right until she inhaled
and it was simply her breath, she held
all becuz she suddenly forgot
with a second of thoughts that
she too needs to E-X-H-A-L-E-
YES EXHALE

Floating like a Feather

Floating on a cloud this morning,
Light as a feather, bright as the days new sun…
Drifting away in self ecstasy-the pleasure is all me
 
Maybe like an after-shock the gentle kiss
On the cheek is just now affecting me
Maybe his soft caresses on my arm
Or him holding me just right – not too tight
Making me feel warm
 
Floating on a cloud this morning
Light as a feather, bright as the days new sun…
Crazy how this energy connection just begun
Still drifting away in self ecstasy as the pleasure
Is definitely all me
 
Maybe my smiles are letting go
Feeling loose able to be free from
All the others that tried to make a captive of me
Maybe it’s due to his words being so sweet
Or how open he is with me
Maybe it’s just because he is…he
 
Floating on a cloud this morning, light as a feather
Bright as the days new sun
This afternoon brings hours closer to closure
Where drifting away in self ecstasy
Will no longer just be a pleasure all for me

Damn

damn if only u could be…
even would be…my man
I’d take u to levels, even heights unseen
might even, seem, like it’s
somethig of a terrestrial being
but, me, being all that i be…
would be exactly – what u need 2
take u to ecstasy…oh, i say me…
oh, me…oh… me. Oh, me!
damn, if only u could see it
u, not just me – that holds to heart – all –
that makes this fantasy, be, what it be
open ur mind, but…close ur eyes
and let me bring to u ur fantasy that lives
deep within me
damn can u hear my call
damn can u feel my cry
damn can u share all the passions
that drive me wild
man oh man damn if only it could be
damn, i mean damn
more than just a mental unlived
joyus hmph mental fantasy
damn damn damn
no words left to express…just simply put
all i can say is damn…man…damn!

All That Is Me

Speechless and without words…

All that is me…is you…

I need you to be those words and speak for me…

If only you could hear my voice whisper your name when I dream…

For you to be my eyes and see yourself through me…

My heart, you beat for me…

Validate my Soul and synchronize my Core…

If you were my touch when you hold me….the intensity

Inside, you see….

Give me life…into me you breathe

Like the fire that once burned eternal ….you ignite my spirit…

Desperately I seek you to be the passion that created me…

Open…. Me… like a book….I’m read before the story has ended…

You could write new chapters in my life’s history…change my destiny…

Be my guest author…challenged and inspired….guide my future…

I’m in your hands…sculpted…for you, exclusively…

Don’t you see?

I belong to you…bound…

All that is me…in fact…is all that is you…

You MADE me…..