Road BLOCK

Mistaken, miss-taken
I attempted, with my best
Zealous-ness and heart, I pushed
Past fear and made the road clear

Let go and gave in to hope
A dream that couldn’t float
My-self I gave, for us, I prayed—
Our friendship, our growth, our
Lives, our love—ones

Trust I granted, favor
I gave, the clock ticked on
I waited, one-year and
Seven months long

For not, for nothing, for lessons,
For truths, understanding or
Some kind of yet to be seen boost

The door now closed
Emotions still sore, a box
That opens, now shut
A key—stored away
From this time, from this space

Still with hope for the future, if found one day…
I would be glad to have received the warmth of love
A cozy gift from only God above.

In love with Ideas

***NEWS FLASH*** I humbly accept the “Perfect Poet” Award for Thursday Poetry Rally Week 57. It’s been so long since I’ve participated and won this award that I am really excited. Further my nomination for Week 58 goes to… Cherlyn for “You’ve Taken My Voice”
( http://cursemymetalbody.wordpress.com/2011/11/24/poetry-thursday-72/#comments )

I’m in love with the idea of being in love.
Did you hear what I said? I’m in love.
With the idea. Of being in love. Yes, that
Is correct. The idea suits me just fine.
I might even be inclined to say I love
Things just the way they are—cuz why not?
Everything seems just fine. I’m in love with
the idea of being in love. Shooting stars
from the greatest clouds up above. Shinning
bright moons and sparkling skies. The
Heavens opened up and here is
Where I welcomed you. I’m in love
With the idea of being in love. Yes, that’s
Correct. I’m in love with the idea of being in love.

I laugh at the thought of how absurd
It may sound but it’s true, indeed for I would
Never make an attempt to deceive. So just
believe to see the truth in me when I say
These words, out loud they sound,
triumphantly I called out in a subtle shout
grasping your attention, as the wind carries
soft whispers of sweet I love you’s…again
I laugh at the thought of how absurd
It may sound but I only speak truth.

Ideas, just words, emotion shown
Through love, love of ideas, love
Falling from the heavens up above.
Love from the father, son and holy
Ghost. Love just emotion turned up
Extra high, balanced by love matched
Also heaven sent…just right
Specially picked. I’m in love with the
Idea, of being in love. I’m in love with
Love and differing ideas on exactly
What love should be. Again, I say
I’m in love…with love.

Exceptional

I am exceptional.
And definitely NOT
Just because my
Mother, says so—

I am exceptional as
I spread my wings
Flying higher than
Bald eagles.

I am exceptional
As I exponentially
Raise the bar higher
And higher—
Demanding with
Conviction from
Hours and hours
Of time spent
That I am—exceptional.

I am exceptional.
It shows from the glow
That rest upon—post,
Marking the target,
Setting the goal,
Moving forward with
Passion, to conquer
showing no fear.

I am exceptional.
And no, it’s not just
Cuz my momma
Told me so…

I am exceptional.
From the soles of my
Feet, through the wiggle
Of each toe; Exceptional
I am while I declare
And give command—
Thank God Almighty,
“I’m free at last” and
that most certainly
most absolutely, and
astutely means that—

I am EXCEPTIONAL.

Now I see.

I have truly let you go
I see the light, for the
Tunnel is bright, not
Dimly lit, it shines
Smiling on all of the
Great time we spent
The good times we
Shared…the love we
Dared.

I close my eyes and
See your image, my
Minds eye, vivid—all
That is you and I…I mean
All that was you and I
See it flash within my
Eyes—deeply I smile

I let go of the hope
To one day be your
Wife, it does not seem
That would be our
Destiny—in love I let
Go but I’ll always
Love you so—I once
Upon a time wished
You to be the one.

I once upon a time
Wished that I would
Be for you, as you to me,
I held long onto
That dream, I held
Tight for all hopes
That one day it might
Actually be.

Then reality you see
Knocked me down,
Down right to my
Knees, yelling at me
To see, with tears
In my eyes I finally
Understood why.

I need love you see.
To hear it, to feel it
To see it, to touch it
I need assurance
That our love is
True between you
And me…I needed
To hear that you loved
Me…I needed consistency
I needed you to love me.
NO. I needed you to be open
To showing me, and yes! Telling
Me, unconditionally how
Much you loved me.

Patient I was, patient I
Tried, tears weld up,
Falling from my eyes
I held on, I held on, I let go
But still I held on…hoping
Too hard, that this wasn’t our
Reality, hoping too hard
There would still be a
You and me…now knowing,
I let go…now opening my
Eyes to see…I understand.

Before reluctantly, even
Hesitantly, now with
Confidence and peace
Now with love and peace
Now understanding it
Was the past that shared
Me and you. Now I see.

 

**Thursday Poetry Rally: Week 57**

Hiding Inside.

for so long, I allowed
my youth to wreck
my nerves—allowed
your drug use to
self-induce my emotions
into a dark-ness, a dark
abyss of pity and
doubt, clouds of unrest
from un-want, dis-trust and
lack of love–
i built a cave and
tucked my heart
deep deep inside
away from you–
my mother!–NO MORE
pain will you inflict
your drug bull-shit
makes me so sick—
feelings from youth
I’ve always held so
deep inside–allowing
pain and hurt to reign
as pride, while all this
time, I was really, just–
hiding inside…

This I know…?

It is so this I know for
What, I said what?
The Bible tells me so
No seriously before
I digress let tell you
How elated, this sen-
Sation has been created
No longer frustrated
Just thanking God, seriously
Just THANKING God
For the win…

For this I know,
I’m not just telling
You so, last days
Begat new days, creating
Better and newer
More befitting of your
Inner being passionate
Baring just seeking
Brand new fresh
Opportunities…Just
THANKING God for
Letting me know, just
Thanking God for telling
Me THIS IS SO…

I’m telling you this
I know I KNOW
Blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah…
I mean really, let
Me STATE this more
CLEARLY…LAST days
Begat new days creating
Luxury in how
I
DEFINE
ME….just thanking
God, for showing
Me His GRACE…

Now see this here
Is WHAT I’M TELLING
You…have no fear
Because Gods MERCY
Is REAL…bountiful
And plenty, I feel Him
Justly smiling on me
I mean in me, I mean
From me? Hmph just
Thanking God, for
His will I know…

As I…

As I aspire, it’s with
much thought that
goals and ambitions
form un-delayed, like
words transcribed on
your Sunday news-
paper page, with sage
not rage, I aim for goals, flying high
so high, they float
beyond the sky
making monuments
of souls intent to
be more than, or better
than, to simply not
be set on being
content, after all, I
mean I am…heaven sent

pWrite…Intro

I’ve decided to start a daily writing section called “pwrite” (like iWrite but “p” for Peaches, Peach, Pit, Propaganda)- it is my intention to try to keep each post uniform so you can easily tell it from my poetry post. Peach Pit Propaganda is forever changing and evolving [i hope].

This segment of my blog will likely not include poetry but I can’t say not at all because poetry is me…they will be more like journal entries as I begin this a new chapter in this journey we call life.

This journey is one of CHANGE [i know we all just love that word] and I plan to share the goods the bads the up and downs even turn arounds of this journey I am about to begin.

Every year since undergrad [which seems to be getting further and further in the past] I started participating in the Lenten season with my BFF (if you’re wondering I am not Catholic but I love God the father and Jesus the son) and this year it seems to not be starting until March – I feel like I need a spiritual cleanse sooner than that so I am starting this journey in preparation of Lent in hopes that my spiritual growth is higher at the start enabling me to take it even higher.

Change is never easy and while I have not completely defined what this part of the journey will consist of I hope you can appreciate it and even possible be inspired to do some positive change in your own life…

 

God Bless!

Ms. Peaches…

Like Wind

With caution I hesitate
To instruct caution to you
As moving forward seems
To be an illusion, yea I think
That’s my conclusion

Grasping for emotional
Comfort, emotional release
And relief, wanting to share
My abundance while
Being cautioned to move
Slowly when emotionally
I’m not sure that’s really me

Cautioned to not feel dejected
Or rejected even emotionally
Objec-ti-fied so supplied
With caution I hesitate
To emotionally consummate
The feelings I could be
Feeling cause my caution
Cannot be gone like the wind

Not Returned…

With my heart I am too generous
Too open, too honest, too loving
While loving too hard makes it
Obsolete, the love returned is less
than soft and incomplete

Seems so surreal that I am able to
Feel the way I feel, when in return
Slighted I am with nothingness
Nothingness leads to nothingness
Useless these feelings become
When they forever go unreturned

Ironically, symbolically you seem to
Still mean so much to me
Like I faucet I choose to turn you off
Shut you down from your main source
Of water flow because to have is to feel
And feel is to love and to love u do not

So, slighted we move forward, with
More caution than before…as being
Unable to turn off my heart for u
These feelings I will try harder to ignore
Cause in loving you no feelings of love
Are returned…

I Think

I think of you as the sun

Rises and I inhale my first

Breath, thankful to God

That we really met

 

I think of you when the

Evening comes, causing the

Sun to set, thankful for

Memories that I will never forget

 

I think of you when

I close my eyes, able to see

Reflections from gazes

We shared, thankful

For all of the things we’ll

One day dare

 

I think of you, with a

Smile upon my face,

Simply thankful for

God’s good grace

 

I think of you, even

When we’re side by side

Thankful for hope

Of this lasting forever

Lasting always…forever

Life long…more easily

Put…I think of you

 

I think of you.

Simply Solidify to Amplify

Solidify, amplify – lose control
and showme your soul
not face value, but whole
pure, 100% true, show me
all that equals you
Solidify, petrify – maybe, create a mix
amalgamate, blend, mix and merge
like alloy – metals combined to incorporate
only, when we mingle and mix it will be
like a dulce de leche hershey’s
dark chocolate covered kiss
Solidify, don’t hit and miss
consolidate, unite, make a combination
that drives you crazy, not mentally deranged
or strange, but crazy, silly, a little unglued
maybe even unhinged and senseless
for too many useful senses that blend
are simply and solidly making you crazy
Just solidify – tha tplace with in
and maybe our hearts will combine
to join in…strong, together, integrated
by energy that no one
can keep from the win
simply solidify to amplify
whats happening within

E.X.H.A.L.E

as i think i remember to – E,
i mean how do u forget – X,
am i biting my lip? hmm – H,
wow, was that really it?? – A,
yes, i must say, real soft – L,
i am sure it was just rite – E,
oh, pleeeaaasse, remember to breathe!
after, u inhale, and realize
its ur breath thats held
please, remember that u…must!
E-X- H-A-L-E – yes, exhale!
not to impose that u dont feel ill-composed
by that moment that just transposed
maybe a lil juxtaposed, even bare and exposed
just after u inhale and remember
its your breath thats held,
simply dont forget to later
realize with regret that u forgot,
in that moment to E-X-H-A-L-E-
YES, EXHALE
oh, yes i do, dare to continue to share
as a memory traces back, surely with out fright
as she enjoyed that moment,
oh so right until she inhaled
and it was simply her breath, she held
all becuz she suddenly forgot
with a second of thoughts that
she too needs to E-X-H-A-L-E-
YES EXHALE

Floating like a Feather

Floating on a cloud this morning,
Light as a feather, bright as the days new sun…
Drifting away in self ecstasy-the pleasure is all me
 
Maybe like an after-shock the gentle kiss
On the cheek is just now affecting me
Maybe his soft caresses on my arm
Or him holding me just right – not too tight
Making me feel warm
 
Floating on a cloud this morning
Light as a feather, bright as the days new sun…
Crazy how this energy connection just begun
Still drifting away in self ecstasy as the pleasure
Is definitely all me
 
Maybe my smiles are letting go
Feeling loose able to be free from
All the others that tried to make a captive of me
Maybe it’s due to his words being so sweet
Or how open he is with me
Maybe it’s just because he is…he
 
Floating on a cloud this morning, light as a feather
Bright as the days new sun
This afternoon brings hours closer to closure
Where drifting away in self ecstasy
Will no longer just be a pleasure all for me

A Change has COME

As I lay here singing in my head the only words that keep playing back are those of Sam Cooke…”It’s been a long, a long time coming and I know a change gon’ come…oh yes it will” I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the song or not but as Seal has remade it and it seems to be on Vh1 Soul every freakin day I keep singing it and singing it. I find the words to be so simple yet so profound…”it’s been too hard living, but I’m afraid to die, I don’t know what’s out there beyond the skies…it’s been a long, a long time coming but I know a change gon’ come…oh yes it will.” I mean it just sounds like life was so hard but in all reality each trial and tribulation only makes us stronger…maybe it makes us hear better, look harder, think smarter…I don’t really know but I feel the song…not to sound cliche or anything but I feel it in my “bones” LOL okay let me keep it serious…Before I reached the point that I am at in my life I thought change was never going to make it my way…well maybe not that harshly…I think I was denying the fact that a change needed to come. So I remained content instead of happy in an all around sense. When I relocated from one coast to the other it was like my CHANGE had seriously come! I couldn’t be happier about where I am now…there are things that are still changing but they are all changing for the better. Life is short don’t miss out on your CHANGE!

This song speak volumes to where we all stand in this country right now. As the song continues…he sings, “I go to my brother, and I say “brother, help me please” but he winds up knocking me…back down on my knees…there’s been times that I thought I couldn’t last for long, but now I think I’m able to carry own…” Man! It’s definitely been a long time coming a change has come in the greater since of the word…IDon’t sit idlely waiting for a change that you know you need but haven’t sought…President Elect Barack Obama has given this world hope and grabbed the Change he was looking for just as he set example we too can set example…Make HISTORY in your life today…because life is too short, don’t let it pass you by!