Silence Broken…

with gratitude, compassion is my attitude,
donations, support, confirmation – I’m totally doing my part
Focus, surrender, love, God-given, tender,
Like a mothers’ unconditional heart, my desire to empower
survivors has always been real – wisdom I must impart

God’s putting me to the test with uneasy task, humbling myself,
to simply make that ask, God turning it over and over into an
abundance, overflowing with love, support,
happy darts from you, straight to my heart –

All because, I’ve found and I see the discipline of being
intentional with you and me, to ask from the start, the works
of the Lord, they all supplement my heart through your hands

I give all thanks of abundance to the great I AM
I decree, I declare an abundance in this atmosphere
Go Fund Me you see and pour out support for this
violence afflicted community

For healing, God, I think you, for awareness and clarity
no longer blind to a cause the entire world must see
because violence holds consequence and I’m here to come
to the support the survivors defense

Empowered against the silence, each woman stepping away
from and past domestic violence and into the light of
their brilliant abundance.

Blameless they are not, for you this I’ve fought, tearing
down cultures os hame, I walk with you and I want to know
your name, because violence cannot be forgotten, nor silence,
nor watered down, she has a name and this victim, you shall
not blame.

Support my efforts to attend #theblackupstart2k15 bootcamp and product development and production cost! I’m healing survivors and changing the culture of shame attached to violence.

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forgiving and letting go

It is said to truly forgive someone you must let go of the anger and the hurt and not dwell on the past. I believe that there are stages one goes through when ending a relationship, whether it’s with a friend or a lover. Those stages, in my opinion, are denial, followed by grief, anger, then a no mans land between anger and forgiveness, and then finally forgiveness. I am in the no mans land stage and am slowly but surely working my way towards total forgiveness. After I wrote this poem, I tried to read it aloud but I couldn’t, everytime I tried I ended up singing it (and I can’t sing, but ask me if that stops me LOL!) that has never happened to me before, which is how I know this one touched me very deeply. This is part of my healing process

I DON’T BLAME YOU

I don’t blame you for walking away
I don’t blame you for not wanting to stay
I am actually glad for both you and me
for us to be together it was not meant to be
at times I still miss our family
But I don’t miss the pain that you caused me
I know you suffered because of me
But I loved you true and through very deeply

I don’t blame you ‘cause I understand
You never really learned how to be a man
I don’t blame you ‘cause it was justified
I forgave you each and everytime you made me cry
I don’t blame you for pushing me away
I know you’ve never been loved this way
I don’t blame you
I don’t blame you
I don’t blame you

I don’t blame you for going astray
I don’t blame you for all the bad days
I know at times I made you cry
But it was because you hurt me so deep inside
I only wanted the best for me and you
But the harder I tried you gave me less of you
I did the best that I could do
But we weren’t strong enough to pull through
and I don’t blame you

I don’t blame you ‘cause I understand
You never really learned how to be a man
I don’t blame you ‘cause it was justified
I forgave you each and everytime you made me cry
I don’t blame you for pushing me away
I know you’ve never been loved this way
I don’t blame you
I don’t blame you
I don’t blame you

I don’t blame you because I let you do it
I don’t blame you ‘cause I pushed you to it
Everytime that you took me through it
I forgave you even though it hurt to do it
I compromised myself and my beliefs
Too many nights where I couldn’t sleep
I gave you the best of me
But what’s done is done I have nothing left in me

I don’t blame you ‘cause I understand
You never really learned how to be a man
I don’t blame you ‘cause it was justified
I forgave you each and everytime you made me cry
I don’t blame you for pushing me away
I know you’ve never been loved this way
I don’t blame you
I don’t blame you
I don’t blame you

 

Dr. Dash

Blessings in Disguise?

I just got done reading the most current blog post of a good friend of mine…and WOW women across the board seem to be having the same types of issues when it comes to males. I find it all to be so disheartening. And many kudos to the men out there that, for a lack of another way of putting it, “keep it REAL.”

I’ve recently been surrounded by a few women who have been so badly heart by the men they allowed to enter into their lives and that they allowed themselves to be emotionally bound to or maybe vulnerable to…I believe that is of course for a reason and maybe that reason is so that we can learn from one another’s coping methods.

I refuse to be a scorned woman…I refuse to hate the man that I allowed myself to be emotionally vulnerable to because it didn’t work out. He’s truly a good person, he just made some not so great choices in dealing with our “Friend-lationship.”

I’ve been commended by a few on how I have dealt with it all and by my choosing to remain really good friends with him. But you know the good book says to forgive and to forgive quickly…I by no means hate him…I want for him to be abundantly happy, actually. As women and men we can’t harbor ill feelings for what someone in a past relationship may or may not have done to you because it keeps you from moving on. When you fail to forgive you are only holding yourself hostage. And sorry to say that just is no good!

Women out there if you’ve been hurt count it all joy it may just have been your blessing in disguise…or maybe you were just supposed to be friends with that person and nothing more…All in all don’t beat yourself up over it or hold him in contempt for any decisions he made that had an ill effect on you…it’s not worth it.