#theBlackupStart2k15 Why I am grateful I decided to run a fundraising campaign

There are less than 12 hours left of my GoFundMe campaign for “Tuition: the Black upStart Bootcamp.”  I’m excited to see the progress that has been made, considering the short amount of time in which the campaign began and the goal to not just hit the amount needed for Bootcamp tuition ($300), but to surpass that goal and have a surplus for product development and production (I’m curating a healing workbook and journal, and an inspirational planner to accompany the workshop series).
As I get closer to the deadline and the 3rd and final tier of the goals I set to reach and surpass for #theblackupstart2k15, I see and understand how God used this opportunity to deal with me and my anxiety around fundraising.  I cannot recall a time in my life, where fundraising sounded like a task that I, personally should lead from the forefront.  Of course I’d love to help, but for me to lead the entire cause and push a community to rise to the occasion – that isn’t one of my own comfort levels. I usually prefer to assist from behind the scenes or from the sidelines.  This particular case unavoidable, even if I desired and prayed for it with faith the size of a mustard seed this was a path I had to travel and it is because God had to deal with me on this issue for the sake of progress in my non-profit and my inner confidence in being successful with even those task that I don’t keenly desire.
When I first received the email of acceptance into the Bootcamp program for the Black upStart Bootcamp, I was admittedly drafting an email full of sorrow to regretfully turn down the spot and have it given away to someone who could afford the cost of tuition.  I figured there would be another opportunity for me to apply, but something made me pause — when I say something, I mean a quiet calming, maybe even gentle touch that said “wait Corinn, you’ve missed something” and I’m convinced that was no one other than God.  I read the email again in its entirety, but not really because my mind was in disbelief that I had been accepted into this program, but due to the fact that I’d been out of work for a month and waiting on a contract renewal, I wouldn’t be able to participate in the experience. I was sitting there thinking to myself, “SERIOUSLY!” And that’s when I began to read the email for the 3rd or maybe 4th time, this time slowly and with more intent to not miss a single word.
That’s when I saw it!  I saw the payment option that provided fundraising training to raise the funds for the cost of Bootcamp tuition and any surplus for the cost of program development and production. I had just zeroed in on my golden ticket! I almost wanted to jump out of my seat with excitement, though I was still filled with slight doubt in my ability to raise the funds needed in less than a weeks time. Moving forward with unwaivering faith and confidence not of my own, I was contacted by the founder of the Black upStart and she sounded totally and utterly confident in my ability to successfully raise and exceed the tuition cost in this fundraising adventure and even shared compliments to my energy and passion for my cause.
So here we are – the clock is counting down, day one of Bootcamp is this evening, starting at 6pm and that is the cut off time for my fundraising efforts.  Here’s to the last hurrah of raising capital for Brilliant Abundance to enter into product development and production through my participation in #theBlackupStart2k15 Bootcamp.  Here’s to taking a leap of faith, even when you are uncertain of meeting the goal.  Here’s to God breaking barriers and walls in me, allowing me to push past my discomfort and into success!  Can you imagine, if I would have turned down the opportunity because I wasn’t willing to ask for help?!
Many Thanks to my village of supporters, many of you expressed verbal support, some of you shared my endeavor with your networks, and many of you opened not just your hearts, but also your wallets to help me reach and surpass the goal of tuition cost.  At the time of this post, there is still a fundraising need of $180 to hit before 6:00 p.m. EST.
I am truly blessed and highly favored because you all let God make you “intentional.”  Humble praises of gratitude to the most-high and sincere thanks to each and every one of you! It truly does take a village.
Shout out to my village (in no particular ranking order)
Amber G.               Fayola              Alexis H.
Gregory                 Desirea             Lilian V.
Latoya J.               Simone D.        Kenya B.
Diamond M.          Denise              Aniela
Danielle                 Zakiyyah R.     Wayne
Vanessa                 Bert                   Xkzin
Tiffany                   LeAndria          Nina
Aja L.                      Janay                Naeemah
Esmeralda            Christina           Caren
I love you all from the depths of my heart and soul! Thank you for standing with me and showing the true spirit of community and giving!

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Carrying Jada: When ‘Standing With’ Isn’t Enough.

Stacia L. Brown

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Two nights ago, I sat in our bedroom on the third floor with the window open. You were already asleep. The night breeze carried the voices of a cabal of teen boys walking beneath. There is a steep grassy hill behind our building. I never take you to play there. The earth is uneven and I don’t trust the improbability of a long hard tumble. But I’ve always found it a beautiful space, open and green among the brick, steel and concrete, tree-lined, flowering branches blushing white and pink each spring with the promise of growth. It is usually quiet there after nightfall, or it has been during most of the 27 years my grandmother has lived here. But things are changing. The boys were raucous but stealthy, their voices at once overloud and vanquished altogether.

“She got HIV or something. She might got HIV!” One called out.

“She probably

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When Parenting Feels Like a Fool’s Errand: On the Death of Michael Brown.

Stacia L. Brown

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I don’t want to talk about the boy and the sneakers peeking out from the sheet crudely draped over his corpse in the street, because I have been happy this month and it is so rare that I’m happy and that you, at age 4, don’t have to touch my knee or shoulder or face and say, “What’s wrong, Mama? You sad?”

I don’t want to think of who will go out on her hands and knees to scrub what’s left of the boy’s blood from the concrete. It will probably be a loved one, her hands idle after hours of clenching them into fists, watching what used to be her breathing boy lie lifeless, as she waited and waited and waited for the police and the coroner and the county to get their stories straight and their shit together and their privilege, sitting crooked as a ten-dollar wig, readjusted till it was firmly intact…

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Not–Spent

I am sad, but coping
For soon I will lose you. 
I cry for your pain
And pray God takes all
Your pain pain away
Leaving us with the smile
Rested upon your face…

Due to failed attempts
Of our love, I could of
Sworn was heaven sent
Has ultimately been washed
Away likely to never return
But what’s done will be
And is already done
The door I closed and
Finally walked away…

Two different events, alike
And not similar, but tears 
For both I cried– asking
“dear God, why?”
My dear sweet granny, 
To heaven she will go
For the God I know she
Too knows and for his
Love kept quiet, causing
Doubtful riots–from there
It came and went leaving
Me longing for time before spent. 

¡pWrite…Back n the Habit

Seems like I’ve not posted in ages…well almost ages! My BFF actually kind of got on me yesterday making me feel like, “dang, I really need to get back on it” as far as my blog is concerned. But I’ve not been away in vain. I’ve actually recently (actually 5 weeks ago) started grad school. Not to make excuses but seeing that the last time I was in school was 2007 I had to readjust. Five weeks in and I’m 100% in love with the class and therefore the program. I feel innumerably exuberant LOL –I love learning and while I wasn’t 100% sure on what the class would actually entail as I progress through the course I love the historical base that it encompasses. I’m learning so much and after the 1st paper I wrote (which was C grade quality) the rest of my papers have been A [grade] quality –causing me to feel like my SWAG is at an all time HIGH! The adventures that I call life continue…
Not only that I went on vacation to Cancun – actually my very 1st time out of the country. I had the most wonderful time. It was a “Girlfriends Getaway” 9 amigas in attendance ready for nothing but fun in the sun. I did a few things for the first time ever and can’t wait to travel some more…I jet skied –AMAZING because it was a “tour” so to speak as I’m driving the jet ski across the deep dark waters, the colors began to change from deep blues to aqua blues…kind of like patterned strips in some areas jumping from color to color making it almost impossible for me to figure out what cause the color pattern changes…our group drove out for about 45 mins and then we stopped to snorkel. I touched a star fish, saw some kind of sea spider – that totally grossed me out, I was in the middle of a school of fish…I even choked and [unfortunately] swallowed nasty salty sea water…ugh. Then it was a 45 min ride back to where we started from and this time I wasn’t the driver so I got to take in the beautiful architecture of some of the homes and hotels on the water front…I saw the Mexican flag swaying back and forth –appearing to be extremely GIGANTIC…and I soaked in loads of sun –I was glad to have used sun block [on everything but my dang face!]. We stayed at Cancun Palace Resort –it was such a beautiful location…[all inclusive of course] not that any of us used the liquor taps in our rooms other than the first day we were excited to discover them LOL. I also went Zip lining, and we did a party hoppers “tour” it was just loads of fun and a much needed vacation.