It’s so hard you see

When this feeling comes

Over me…I asked the Lord

I prayed a few words

I asked for guidance

I prayed for direction

Being of sound mind

Body soul and spirit

I am committed

But you see that isn’t what

Has me confused

You see time and time

Again I let my-self, get a little

Giddy but for what you see

“Oh Ye of Little faith”

Is what the bible says to me

Faith isn’t what I lack

Hope is what I have

Determined I am

But when I’m shut down

Rejection turns to hesitation

Hesitation turns to pessimism

The reactions form

The wall goes up

My heart locks to protect it ‘self

From the never ending cycles of

Rejection that this world presents you

When I get excited and Giddy

Over a gesture, a thank you

A smile, a conversation a compliment

A true hope for what I’ve longed for

For so many years, my mind doesn’t know

What it should let me do

I question every move for now

All I have is uncertainty in what

It really is that I should do…


One thought on “Pessimism

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