11.04.08
ASSumptions
“Wow that doesn’t taste healthy”
“You sure are pretty for a dark skin girl”
“Why do you have jolly ranchers in your hair that is soooo ghetto!”
Okay that last one doesn’t quite fit but I just really wanted to post that pic…shabang!
One of these things is not like the other…but it does get me to thinking about our perceptions and how those perceptions translate into reality and what exactly all that means.
For example I work with youth and when I come across young black women with blue braids there’s a light bulb that goes off in my head and she is immediately pegged henceforth into to a category in my head I will call “hoodrattish”. Now the child may not indeed BE a hood rat she may just be displaying some temporary hoodrattish tendencies do to the influence of her surroundings. And im not pretending the term hoodrat is any way cohesive or indicative of that youths potential into becoming a valuable member of society or that it is not a semi-offensive term, but for lack of a better word I use it to define youth who display such tendencies of fluorescent hair etc.
So when do we start equating what a people do with who they are? Or rather when does an individual entity begin to have a substantial impact on the sum of its parts or the whole? For example who decided that healthy food had to taste like bird food? And why is soul food/good food equated with fat backs and high sodium. Who said dark skin was diametrically opposed to beauty, can you tell me who came up with that non sequitur?
I mean I guess we can trace all of this back to “the man” but I think to a certain extent it is simple human nature tinged with a little bit of bigotry. To a certain extent we all judge. We make assumptions about people based on their actions compared to the body of our past experiences. But when those judgments affect the way that we treat people or people treat us I think we have to start premeditating our actions and preparing our children to do the same. Particularly as black women I think it is important for us and our lineage to challenge the status quo.
But here is where it gets tricky. Do we modify our behavior to challenge that status quo? Must we be extra professional and bland to prove that we are capable and intelligent? Must dark skinned women stay suited, booted and fly every day to prove that we too can be hallmarks of beauty. Or lighten our skin to be able to compete in the market place? Do I have to be extra grammatically correct to prove that my race is not a marker of my intelligence. Doesn’t making an extra effort to do these things give some validity to the assumptions in the first place?
I think the process of untraining minds is a formidable task, one that I’m not sure I have the tools to undertake…but as the honorable LeVar Burton would say, don’t take my word for it, what do you think?
p.s. Speaking of the interesting names that we name our children LeVar an acceptable name? What about Treaunte, Mazda, Dejel, Ramajah, Kyroneka…etc. you get the point.
10.03.08
This woman’s worth
Do you ever wonder how much you’re worth? What about that degree you worked so hard for…did it translate into cold hard cash, dollars in your hopefully not Wachovia or Washington Mutual very very safe bank account? Or did it amount to just being another piece of wasteful paper increasing the size of your environmental footprint.
On another note what about you, yourself as a commodity; do you ever wonder how you would translate into dollars and sense or I guess if we worked on a barter system would you be the diamonds or the dog leash? How long do you think you would sit on the shelf? In these “harsh” economic times are black women like sub prime mortgages? Are we assets or a poor investment?
I cant help but feel as of late that black women particularly in California, a state known for its interracial dating and high number of mixed race people, are seen less and less as being desirable especially romantically and socially. As I find myself in more social situations where African Americans do not constitute the majority I wonder if I am the Lisa Turtle in the room. As much as we love our selves or proclaim we do I can’t help but feel like I, we, many black women are not considered a viable option. Could it be our fierce dedication to “our” men, or the fear we instill as SBW(strong black women) that leaves us high and dry?
While I reluctantly am beginning to realize that black women are not the first round draft picks of the dating world, when it comes to corporate America or the boardroom, professionally how do we fare? Personally I feel that you are much more likely to see a black female CEO, manager, HNIC than you would see for example a black woman dating outside of her race. Please correct me if I’m wrong, but whether that statistic is true or not, I think that perception, that black women are capable enough to run shit but do not make likely love interests, speaks volumes about our place on the desirability totem pole?
Good thing we black women age well and we just like McDonalds hamburger patties will essentially look the same in 12 years…yeah take that, take that!
Ms. Tina makes it look easy…i’ll let ya’ll guess which one is older.
