My life is good, really I have no true complaints. I have wonders, desires, hopes, a yearning even. I guess I’m at a point in my life where I’m longing. Longing for the one thing that I give so, to others, effortlessly–but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t believe that I am a complex person–don’t get me wrong because I am not simple either. I, however, cannot define myself as “complex” there is complexity to me but if one chose to sit down and take the time to get to know me they can see how I can allow myself to give myself at a level of 100% even if I don’t believe or feel that such is reciprocated towards me. None-the-less, my outlook on life allows me to believe, I mean truly believe that God places me in someones life for a greater purpose than for my own self satisfaction. But still I am yearning, still I am hoping, still I am praying and wanting for someone to be that to me.
I believe what I desire is simple. Probably sounds cliche or like every other young ladies hope and desire, but I have come to a point in my life, where like no other time in my life, I want someone to love me…someone who thinks I’m special, who cares enough to do special things for me. To surprise me with thoughtfulness–someone who can love me and allow me to love them as hard and sincere as i can love. Someone to accept and welcome my love. Is that too much for me to ask? I don’t think so…Love can be so complicated. I’ve given my love to a couple–I mean the puriest form of love I have to give and in return….well I’m not sure what I’ve gotten in return…but I’m waiting and wanting my turn to experience love. I am hopeful even prayful that my time to experience love is coming soon and that it last forever–mutually.

Maybe this post is about to be cliche or sound like something from that of a woman that possess the “Bitter Woman’s Syndrome” but that’s not what it is I just need to put my thoughts out there because I know I am not the only one.

So Valentine’s day is coming…it’s all over the television, even Dr. Phil did a Valentine’s day episode where he helped a husband, who has never acknowledged this day of love, write his wife a love letter–isn’t that sweet? Gave a woman a make over to help spice up her look for her husband on valentine’s day…

What does it take for a lady to get a valentine’s these days? Not to seem vain or boastful, but I’m an attractive young woman, I’m kind, loving, generous…and so on and so forth…is it strange that I have never experienced the joys of having a valentine?

I remember back when I was younger, in grammar school, every kid always had a valentines…now I’m grown and seemingly always single by the time valentine’s comes around. I remember once I got a phone call with a happy valentine’s from my ex…I appreciated it but I wondered what was so “happy” about it?

Here I go about to seem like I’m complaining, but I’ve been the valentine of a few in my dating career, and with all my effort and thoughtfulness…I couldn’t even get a piece of paper folded in half, drawn on with some crayon with something wishful and nice on it. Is it too much to ask for?

Maybe I just have faith in love and love has lost the thoughtfulness that used to exist…the first time I put forth true effort into being someone’s Valentine, it was while I was a sophomore in college…we weren’t going to be seeing each other on that day because it was a weekday so I wrote him a poem, even put it on nice paper w/ hearts all over it…got him a huge hersey’s kiss and this cute lil doggy that was holding a heart that said I love you, put it in this lil box and mailed it off to him…before he got the box…he broke up with me…he got the valentine maybe the next day and asked me if I wanted it back…I thought that was absurd…surely I didn’t want anything back what I gave was sincere and from the heart…

Hmmm then another time I was actually in a relationship and I sent him the most thoughtful valentine ever and in return…there was nothing…so I’ve gotten to the segment in Dr. Phil’s episode where Dr. Phil’s wife is teaching us how to be our own valentine, which is great because we should treat ourselves, but when you’re single, don’t you always “treat” yourself? Just a thought…but never the less as we approach this years’ Valentine’s Day I will be loving all of those that are close to me, and treating it as a day of “LOVE” all love not just romantic love and if you’re single, you should do the same! It’s actually on a Thursday so I’ll even be going to bible study…besides God is love, right?

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