01.30.08

Reality — Reality

Posted in Poetry at 10:57 am by Ms. Peaches

The desensitization of my emotions
lacks the hasten, to the effects this
situation has imposed, to the utmost–
I have allowed some illusion of happiness
to invade the characterizations, that I,
strongly up held to be me, but despite
my in tunned, most often wise, nature–
my heart is more than emotionally
inclined to be subjected, to ALL, that
you affectionately do to me,

my tears fall from strange misrepresentation
because, I, remember a time when
you led me to believe, that you would…
be mine, the irrelevance, to that statement
can be held by question, cause, all that
matters is the affects you effectively
have on me, I don’t even know, what
to do–, because, I’m so in love with you,
you are the one I see as true
the man I one day say I DO…
but, my speculation- don’t matter
not even with slight inclination, because
the reality of the situation, is that you are not…
not…you are…not….shhhhhh
it’s all just, never mind, its all, just
a figment of my lucid mind, but know this true
I’m madly in love with you
and if you could only see
I mean just for a moment see….all that I see,
you too would believe the future held
between you…and me….

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01.18.08

Understanding the value of your selfworth…Do you understand yours?

Posted in Social Settings tagged , , , , , , , , , at 11:23 am by Ms. Peaches

Now know that I can’t just throw you into this and expect you to understand what I’m saying so let me break some words down for you—so you can keep up…

To understand is to perceive and comprehend the nature and significance of; to know thoroughly through close contact with or long experience of; to grasp what is intended or expressed by; to comprehend the meaning of; to know and be tolerant or sympathetic toward; to have understanding, knowledge or comprehension; to learn indirectly or at secondhand…

Value: an amount regarded as a suitable equivalent for something else; monetary or material value; worth in usefulness or importance to the possessor; a principle, standard, or quality regarded as worthwhile or desirable; precise meaning or import…

Worth: the quality of something that makes it desirable, useful, or valuable; the number or amount of something that may be purchased for a specific sum; wealth riches; the quality within one that renders one deserving of respect; deserving of: merit…

It’s strange because as women there are so many of us that devalue ourselves without realizing it.

God has a purpose for each and every one of us and loving our self truly—further creates the needed understanding in knowing the value of our own self worth!

I’ve always been a person that values myself and consider myself to be someone who truly values my own self worth. While that has been and still is the truth, an old friend, who in a very short time, helped me to better understand my own self-worth made me realize I didn’t fully comprehend the true value of myself worth at that time.

It’s strange, yet again, because we set these standards for our self, our career aspirations, and even love life’s without truly thinking them through enough to understand, what it is we really want and are really looking for or even why we are looking for such!

You know it’s the simple things sometimes that go unnoticed that bring value to who we are or who we can become. My friend really helped me understand the value of my own self worth through the words by which he used to address me. It was like an epiphany—but we acknowledge ones worth every time we speak or address one another in the simplest of forms.

One of the first times we shared a conversation he was able to see that I was a woman of substance and that is something I pride myself on being. Because if I lack substance what is my purpose of being??? My purpose in action??? My purpose in the pursuit of love, life or even happiness? (Just let that marinate)

Now I define myself to be a compassionate, zealous, giving, honoring, trusting, spirit-filled, committed, goal-oriented, independent, dependable, respectable and loving individual—so I don’t look towards others to help define myself, what I believe, or what I stand for; however, through all of that I still lacked a true understanding of my own self worth.

Now let me break down a little more for you…(don’t get lost—just pay attention!)

My friend called me ‘Princess’ let me break this word down for you because a Princess is not just someone who is in the royal bloodline or marrying into the royal bloodline.

Princess is defined as:
A hereditary woman ruler; queen; the woman ruler of a principality; a woman member of a royal family other than a monarch;…

Now here is where the definition veers away from its royal meaning…

…A Noble woman; a woman regarded as having status or attributes of a princess.

Now you know I can’t stop there because I really want you to understand completely!

Principality: a territory ruled by a prince or from which the title of a prince is derived; the position, authority, or jurisdiction of a prince; an angel of the 3rd lowest rank in the nine orders of angels.

It’s the latter part of that which is key…I’m going to help you really understand me and maybe give you some help in finding the path that helps you understand you and the value of your self worth.

Now my friend has also called me ‘young lady’ and ‘sunshine’ on a few occasions…

Sunshine is defined as the sun’s light or its direct rays; happiness: cheerfulness; a source of happiness or cheerfulness

Young in short is being underdeveloped in a period of life or growth, newly begun or formed; of or relating to youth or early life; having the vigor or freshness of youth; lacking experience…

Lady is defined to be a well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behavior; a woman regarded as virtuous and proper; a well-behaved girl; a woman who is head of a household; a woman to whom a man is romantically attached; a general feminine title of nobility and rank.

Now, I really don’t think y’all are ready to feel me yet, but I’m going to give it to you anyway!

(I know it’s getting long but just follow me a little bit longer here…)

There is so much meaning behind a word and so much power in a name my three names together mean…

A maiden referred to as someone who ruled on the borderlands of a realm; warlike with noble ranking as a son (daughter) of David…(yea I know that’s deep!)

The term maiden is defined as an unmarried girl or woman, a virgin, …being an unmarried woman; inexperienced; untried; 1st or earliest.

Now your name is who you are, what you are called and what you ultimately live up to…my name has such a powerful meaning and for so long I have rejected my middle name, because of one characteristic or another, but after doing some research and discover the meaning of my name, which comes from three different origins—sharing similar meanings, I find that all this time I have been rejecting a piece of me and that is probably why I didn’t have a complete understanding of my own self worth.

When all of these words are looked at and tied in together the relationship is blatantly obvious. A princess is a noble woman; lady holds a general feminine title of nobility and rank; principality is an angel with the third lowest rank; young is lacking experience as a maiden is being inexperienced.

As I near a quarter of a century my life has barley begun…I’ve made many choices and decisions to help get myself on the path that I have deemed God’s journey for me in life yet I had no complete understanding of it because I lacked the needed knowledge to fully understand the value of my self worth.

God’s purpose for me is not to compromise myself for someone—anyone! God’s purpose for me was to value myself as he values me and that is through all things. Our lives are about not just words that promise action but action that is followed by words, virtues that are obvious and apparent to those who may be out to cripple or hinder us. “Physical weakness prevents the accomplishment of much that otherwise might be done” and if we are not mentally strong and prepared for all of the adverse things life throw at us, we will crumble and fail…we our God’s precious jewels and should be mindful of that in ever action we set forth in…remembering that anyone who expects us or lets us compromise our self for their own selfish gain is only out to hinder us from great things. Love your self, understand what it means to love your self…and keep that knowledge that a compromise for something unworthy today you’ll still pay for tomorrow.

Pessimism

Posted in Poetry at 11:22 am by Ms. Peaches

It’s so hard you see

When this feeling comes

Over me…I asked the Lord

I prayed a few words

I asked for guidance

I prayed for direction

Being of sound mind

Body soul and spirit

I am committed

But you see that isn’t what

Has me confused

You see time and time

Again I let my-self, get a little

Giddy but for what you see

“Oh Ye of Little faith”

Is what the bible says to me

Faith isn’t what I lack

Hope is what I have

Determined I am

But when I’m shut down

Rejection turns to hesitation

Hesitation turns to pessimism

The reactions form

The wall goes up

My heart locks to protect it ‘self

From the never ending cycles of

Rejection that this world presents you

When I get excited and Giddy

Over a gesture, a thank you

A smile, a conversation a compliment

A true hope for what I’ve longed for

For so many years, my mind doesn’t know

What it should let me do

I question every move for now

All I have is uncertainty in what

It really is that I should do…

Twilight Zone

Posted in Poetry at 10:58 am by Ms. Peaches

This euphoric aura you’ve centered

Around me, has me, so—high on

Life that could nice is considered

An extreme depressive like state of mind

You’ve created this state of being

Inside me, that I – seemingly can-

Not seem to control

But to let go is more earth shaking

Than a hard six point, Oh, wait

One, two, or maybe times three

Is all the emotion shared between

You and me

You make me weak, you’ve

Broken me down, I let you in

So now we both win, wait that’s

Not quite right

But I believe that’s how I pictured

You, both you and me together

Sharing the greatest love

In history

But it was just a zone

A state of mind

That had escaped

To get lost in twilight time, making

Me believe, what I think,

No what I believe and know I see

Yes, don’t mistake me, there will

Be a you and me…

© December 18, 2007

Finding Love

Posted in Poetry at 10:56 am by Ms. Peaches

It’s the adoration, the adulation
the pure appreciation, the amorous
allegiance, oh, it’s truly a weakness,
as this affection, this infatuation
this regard that makes
it wild for the tenderness,
the zeal, the sensations,
of devotion, the inclination,
to the fondness, that it’s
rapture relishes in, to
respect this fidelity,
to be so real, in delight, all the
passion it feels, it’s ardency
amity, its affection to the
sentiment, that is profoundly
tender to me
it’s a feeling of warm deep affection
that I need, it’s a requirement for
an intensely amorous incident to occur
to embrace or lock it in with
a kiss, it’s more than just a wish
it’s not just a passion with strong desire
but an affectionate concern to
never, not ever, to no extent
not even 2 a degree, absolutely be…
just understand it
for it’s fact, yes it’s true
not just something to apprehend clearly
let it be with certainty
Fixed in your mind let it create
a memory, with a need to be seen
because its no longer possessed or
retained to be led astray, maybe
turned away, bewildered to place
around not even a familiar face,
it missed the way, but here I’ll stay…
waiting for love to be…

© December 07, 2007

The Hearts Warmth

Posted in Poetry at 10:56 am by Ms. Peaches

My heart warms with just the thought of you

when the day is full of gloom your smile

turns my frown upside down

your lips make my body twitch

your smell makes my hormones flare

your body heats mine, I could stay

wrapped up with you until the end of time

you read me like an open book

I can’t seem to close myself off from even your look

you’ve got me hypnotized

and all my senses arise

with just the thought of you

far off in the horizon is a glimpse

of what I could be to you

all that I could share with you

but the clouds make it hazy

and filled with a daze

a decision lacks from you…

© November 21, 2007

Our Weekend Rendezvous

Posted in Poetry at 10:55 am by Ms. Peaches

Our weekend rendezvous

it was shared by not just me

but you, 2, showed me a

deep piece of you

and I only hope you felt

my love push through

Your embrace so strong, so endearing

so rescuing, so pure, in it’s natural form

your warmth leveled my chill

your sexy pull my classy

your crown royal on ice lit my fire

our passions and desires were opened

there were no rules only truths

and you gave me all of you

in return I unwrapped myself

just so I could really deeply

undoubtedly feel ever pulsating

beat that exist with IN you

Your milk chocolate kisses

melted in my mouth, while

my hands melted all over you

there’s no way to undue

the feelings I have for you

so my heart simply longingly welcomes

all that is you, this is but a glimpse of

what was shred by me and you

during our weekend rendezvous


 

© November 14, 2007

Boldly, Illimitably, Luciously, Liberate, Yearning

Posted in Poetry tagged , , , , at 10:54 am by Ms. Peaches

BODLY you slowly show me you

and as you unfold more and more

comes to light, with all my might

I promise not to Bite, But I’ll put up

the fight just to hold on to you tight

BECAUSE

ILLIMITABLY I go after thee, because

you seemingly complete me, the man

I see, truly Illuminates, all the little

pieces that exist to make me…

LUSCIOUSLY Lavish in you, the Legendarily

you, that Legitimizes me, and I unwaveringly

give you me, if only you could see to Let me…

LIBERATE you, to Let your, Light shine through

then you’d truly know as my…

YEARNING is for You, as I gently Yank You

near to me, Yours matches mine, but You Yield

when all I need is for You, to say Yes and

Yours I’ll truly be…

© November 14, 2007

Protection

Posted in Poetry at 10:52 am by Ms. Peaches

As my outer being breathes you in

my inner soul knows, it’s so real

what she feels, your eyes lock

with mine and as time shifts

freezes and remains still

your lips touch mine, our tongues

wrestle with passion and my heart

screams love…

Love, I love you, you the man, that

turns my world upside down and

flips it right side up again

Love, I love, the way you hold

me tight and protect me, when the

possibility of danger is in sight

your protection holds me just right…

© November 14, 2007

Now that I’m Here

Posted in Poetry tagged , , , , , , , at 10:51 am by Ms. Peaches

As my mind tries to center, to register focus

flashes of your image appear to me, more clear

than if you’d just been here, but it was me

that was there with you, my imagination wanders

and find you there waiting, in the misty,

late night airs chill, your face lights mine, when I

gaze upon your smile, your reach, your touch,

your kiss all takes me in, and I feel so warm within

because, it’s not a dream, we’re really standing here,

together and the world around me, is simply standing still,

‘cuz nothing even matters now that I’m here

© November 14, 2007

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